Humor Random Comments Thread

[Spacethingy]

heh heh

[evil Nyan cat laughter]

Rugged cameras really need rugged software.

ALL HAIL FLAMING TIKI PUMPKIN!!!!!!

Whoopie!

Bagpipe Jokes

Random enough for you? That's all in ONE PAGE!

Long live randomness!

 

[Izack]

Playing Dwarf Fortress, this hasn't yet happened to me, but I have already had all my sources frozen this winter, and a mineshaft flooded. Now to find out how to build a well, and hopefully use the water in the mineshaft to keep my dwarves from dying, if it's even possible... :hmm:

 

[Urwumpe]

Playing Dwarf Fortress, this hasn't yet happened to me, but I have already had all my sources frozen this winter, and a mineshaft flooded. Now to find out how to build a well, and hopefully use the water in the mineshaft to keep my dwarves from dying, if it's even possible... :hmm:

Had happened to me. Sadly I need to restart my fortress building 12 hours earlier again, because I was to clumsy to put the display cable back in (and cut the power in the process). I almost have finished a large ramp (about 20-25 z-levels) from the entrance into my fortress down to the bottom on the mountain through a nice steep valley that will permit some good defenses without being too visible...

 

[Eli13]

Well, in my aviation club, in two weeks, we're going to have a man who was on the Ignition Panel for Apollo 11 come to speak to us. I think that's pretty cool.

 

[Izack]

Mineshaft:

When the embark menu told me I had an aquifer to deal with, I didn't expect to get water gurgling up the shaft when it was only two z-levels deep. :lol:

And what's with all the idlers, you ask? Bloody worthless immigrants. I wish Mountainhome would send me miners and metalsmiths instead of waxworkers and weavers. I have 9 dwarves with real jobs and a bunch of louts waiting to board the Golgafrincham B Ark. :dry:

 

[Pyromaniac605]

Mineshaft:

When the embark menu told me I had an aquifer to deal with, I didn't expect to get water gurgling up the shaft when it was only two z-levels deep. :lol:

And what's with all the idlers, you ask? Bloody worthless immigrants. I wish Mountainhome would send me miners and metalsmiths instead of waxworkers and weavers. I have 9 dwarves with real jobs and a bunch of louts waiting to board the Golgafrincham B Ark. :dry:

I've heard about Dwarf Fortress, never played it though. What's it like? What do you do?

 

[jedidia]

What do you do?

You build a dwarven fortress,Moria-style. Then you die. Also Moria-style.

Its Nearly done, just need to get that head done

Great, then we get to do this :lol:

 

[Pyromaniac605]

You build a dwarven fortress,Moria-style. Then you die. Also Moria-style.

I've downloaded it and had a go, and damn is it confusing, got to find some tutorials or something.

 

[mojoey]

Rules of Flying
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. 8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself. 10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. 11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa. 12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier. 13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. 14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make, as clise as possible to the number of take offs you've made. 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are. 16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. 17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. 18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are probably not at all as they should be. 19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. 20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment. 21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. 22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. Isn't that why they created cheklists? 23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal. 24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

Thought the flyboys on here would like this

 

[Izack]

I've downloaded it and had a go, and damn is it confusing, got to find some tutorials or something.

http://afteractionreporter.com/2009...newby-tutorial-for-dwarf-fortress-part-1-wtf/

^ Helpful for the titular complete and utter newbie.

http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/

^ Helpful for incomplete newbies. For everything else, there's SCIENCE.

 

[jedidia]

I've downloaded it and had a go, and damn is it confusing, got to find some tutorials or something.

Playing Dwarf Fortress without a tutorial would probably be one of the most masochistic things known to mankind... :lol:

 

[Spacethingy]

You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

So THAT'S why my XR5 never goes anywhere after I've landed!

 

[Izack]

Playing Dwarf Fortress without a tutorial would probably be one of the most masochistic things known to mankind... :lol:

Indeed! But playing Dwarf Fortress with skill is one of the most sadistic things known to mankind. :rofl:

 

[MaverickSawyer]

Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

Ah, the dreaded Cumulogranite clouds...

---------- Post added at 08:38 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:37 AM ----------

Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them

And even then, they have to beat the air into submission!

 

[N_Molson]

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

Even more true with rockets :lol:

 

[jedidia]

Today, Switzerland celebrates the introduction of women's right to vote. It was established at the 2. November... 1971. A meager 40 years ago. I feel more like headdesking than like celebrating considering that... :facepalm:

 

[Urwumpe]

My home town today twinned itself with Chattanooga, USA.

 

[MaverickSawyer]

:huh: How so?

 

[Scav]

From Avweb:


In a holding pattern behind several aircraft...

Pilot: Request an estimate for our clearance for the approach.
Controller: Bonanza 1234, is there a problem?
Pilot: Do the words, "Daddy, I gotta go potty!" mean anything to you?
Controller: Bonanza 1234, cleared for the approach.

 

[Urwumpe]

:huh: How so?

Both cities now have a Volkswagen Plant. Also it seems like the (current) mayors of the cities both get along fine (Our mayor will retire at the end of the year, the successor is already elected)